you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
