I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Randomize
