i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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