the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
