sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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