There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
