IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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