I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
