i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
