There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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