Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
