i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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