Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
