At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Everclear isn't food dammit
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
