Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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