Dual....:-)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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