I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
