The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
