I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
