She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
