Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
