My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
