so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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