"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
