party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
