is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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