She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
