I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
