I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?