Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i am craving dick and cupcakes