can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
