you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
