if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize