If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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