so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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