"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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