So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.