WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.