My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED