I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
