Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
