I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
