Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize