She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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