New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
