hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
