i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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