Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
