Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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