we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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