Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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