she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
