Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
