you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
