There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
this hospital has no fireball
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
