Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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