I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
