You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata