I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed