you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.