You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
