Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I enjoy the company of your penis
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
