Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
