my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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