the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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