And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
