I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
