can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
