I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
