i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize