Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
