I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
