Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
