wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
