Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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