he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
