Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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